So you’ve hit bottom. You’ve tried everything and worked yourself to the bone trying to make things right. But no matter what you just can’t get off the ground. You’re stuck. So let’s talk about it because few will.
There’s so much talk out there today about being positive that people forget that being sad and despondent is okay and a part of life. Modern society has glossed over and hidden a lot of what used to be dealt with upfront; for example, the dying did so at home while the family gathered around supporting and caring, not leaving the final rite of passage to a disconnected staff at some foreign location with just a job to do.
But how do you handle difficult times? Finding out how to do so is certainly a critical part of everyone’s life-education or soft skills that few if any ever even begin to understand never mind master. An oft neglected skill that all cannot afford to go without.
So you’ve been doing everything in your power over an extended period of time to find a job, get your business off the ground, get that lost child back on track, or to aid a dying relative but you just can’t go on, so what do you do? Here’s some suggestions:
1. First, stop struggling. Yes, give up and let go. If you just keep forging ahead, at a certain point you’re just spinning your wheels. You need to stop, take a break, take some time off, get away or whatever you feel is necessary but you do need to first and foremost stop.’ Since you’re not getting anywhere, you certainly need to forge a new perspective or understanding or at least rest for a while. Also, how do you expect to get any help if you keep flapping about? There could be rescue or relief just out of reach that can give you a hand, maybe even save your life.
2. Second, get quiet. Of course, just like stopping during times of struggle, getting quite is just as challenging. But it is strictly at these times when it is most important to listen for a solution. In one case, a woman struggling with her child’s medical problem just couldn’t find help anywhere: family, friends, counselors, or physicians. So she turned to her non-judgmental paper and pen and turned to her wisdom within. She said that it was the only place she was able to find the insight and solution to her problem. But the key is that she remained calm enough to seek a solution. Once again, tough to do, but the point is that you don’t have a choice.
3. Third, get it out. At some point you’re just going to have to let it out: a good shout, scream, cry, kick, whatever you need. Just make sure the kids aren’t home and the neighbor’s don’t overhear the commotion and call the cops. You’ll probably need to vent, but don’t let it go too far. At some point the venting merely turns on itself and feeds the misery. Get it out and then let it pass. As the old saying goes, for every dark cloud there’s a silver lining. We all have to go through trials, and the more you understand and go through them successfully the more you strengthen the spirit to overcome the weaker body / mind.
4. Fourth, keep it to yourself. Don’t go sharing your misery with every person who comes along. Best to keep it amongst an intimate few. Even the most giving people feel helpless and will attempt to avoid you more out of a sense of helplessness than merely to avoid seeing you suffer.
5. Fifth, sit back and do nothing. It is critical at this juncture to allow the dust to settle. You’ve been struggling for so long putting forth a great effort without moving forward it has become critical to allow the solution to come to you. It’s there, you just have to listen. You’ve already practiced getting quiet; now is the time to use that quite to let the solution come to you. You will never find it railing against the ‘bad spirits’ who put you there, so allowing the calm to filter in enables intuitive understanding and insight or solution’s only wellspring to flow forth-that which comes from the inner you. In forcing yourself to calm, you strengthen the spirit while at the same time calling forth understanding, solution, and perspective to come from that same source. If you go long and deep enough, you will find not only clarity but the energy and determination to act, to act in a direction previously not seen amongst the tumult of your initial anguish.
Now how do I come to this understanding? Not from books but hard-earned personal experience. I’ve overcome depression, hopelessness, anger, debilitating anxiety, severe shyness, cancer, near homelessness, several trying failed engagements, losing jobs on several occasions, moving from Boston to Los Angeles without a dime, family member or friend, and spending years trying to get a business going with little success. But I would have it no other way. What I’ve learned and the strength, insight, and ability to aid others in their time of need is priceless.
Everyone can love those who love them, but to love those who despise and use that takes character. Just like everyone knows how to thrive in good times, but during difficult times she who has substance floats to the top passing those merely surviving on image. You need the tough times to prove the spirit to let it strengthen you as it triumphs over the weaker body / mind.
Here’s to your greater depth and strength of character as you build the most successful you. Here’s to your success.
Recent Comments