Today’s popular appeal in the self-improvement industry is to the power of positive thinking. As a matter of fact, Dr. Peale’s book The Power of Positive Thinking, the main encourager of this phenomenon, will help you learn:
- How to eliminate that most devastating handicap — self doubt
- How to free yourself from worry, stress and resentment
- How to climb above problems to visualize solutions and then attain them
- Simple prayerful exercises that you can do every day, throughout the day, to reinforce your new-found habit of happiness
Now, it’s certainly fine to think positively to focus on positive thoughts. And you do want to overcome the devastation of feeding into anger, fear, and worry. And it certainly is fine to hold onto a “mental picture of yourself as a success” to “practice happy thinking” even every morning to “let pictures of each happy experience you expect to have that day, pass across your mind [to] savor their joy [so that] such thoughts will cause events to turn out that way.”
But unfortunately, there’s a downside to all this happiness.
In recent years, the power of positive thinking has gotten so out of control that if you think negatively or experience negative thoughts you are at fault, need to repent, and avoid ever doing so again. But I’ll let you in on a secret negative thinkers, those advocating positive thoughts are not always positive. They too experience doubt, disappointment, anguish, and pain.
So what’s a poor negative thinker to do?
Well, first of all, let’s take a look at reality.
There is a difference between being positive and negative when dealing with reality. Sure, on the one hand in the long run, you want to be an upbeat and can-do person. But on the other hand, you don’t want to be a perpetual downbeat, can’t-do person. However, if you are generally a positive person and you begin to inordinately experience doubt, fear, worry, anguish and so forth, it’s for a reason. And you need to stop, examine your circumstances and figure out why all this negative stuff is happening and not just block it out with positive thoughts.
What if you are in a job or career that is in dire need of change?
What if you are in a relationship that is falling apart and you need to address the negative issues?
What if you are confronting an individual on a daily basis who is brining you down?
And, more importantly, what if there are deep-seated issues that have been in your psyche since childhood that need to be looked at in detail, confronted, examined, and addressed? It would certainly be foolish to try to just think positive thoughts to overcome here.
Sometimes, being too positive or overly optimistic can be problematic. What if you are a CEO, physician, or general in the field of battle who must deal with the reality of the negative or not so favorable facts? Should the CEO ignore the negative financial reports coming in with positive thoughts? The doctor with a patient who has a life-threatening illness with positive thoughts? The general in the field who is outnumbered with positive thoughts?
OK, not many may be CEO’s, doctors, or generals in the battlefield, but you see my point. However, it is also critical to not avoid those everyday negatives that arise: jealousy, anger, spite, fear, remorse, doubt, hatred, shame, worry, delusion, and so on. Even the generally positive person will have such emotions arise on occasion. And that’s OK. They are there for a reason, warning signals that must be addressed not ignored or glossed over with positive mantras.
At times, self-examination alone is not enough to fix some of the negatives. Depending on the complexity and depth of the issue, you may have to go to a professional. But for lesser issues, and for those who have had some training in doing so, self-examination is enough. For instance, if you are a normally emotionally healthy person and you find yourself all of a sudden becoming jealous of someone’s success, maybe it’s merely a signal that it’s time for a change in your life. Maybe you need to obtain some of that success for yourself.
Now some in the field of motivation and success advocate positive thinking like it’s the only avenue to success. And, sure, you would probably prefer to be a bright, shiny, positive thinker than a dull, downcast, negative one. But you certainly shouldn’t put your work toward success on hold until you become the paragon of positive thinking.
And who knows? maybe you’ll never get rid of the negative? Lincoln didn’t. Here’s a man who often suffered extreme bouts with depression and a fascination with death. But he still achieved within his “negativity.”
And who’s to say negativity is not of an arbitrary nature? For in the United States, someone who is a pushy, get ‘er done, go getter is generally looked at in a positive light. But if you put that same person in certain countries in Asia such actions would be looked at as highly undesirable, maybe even negative.
And who knows? Maybe the reason your negative is that you’re just uninspired and it’s time for change and continued growth. Hell, if you had reached this point and thought “Gee, I’m negative, I’ve got to think happy thoughts” then this would not be considered positive thinking but insanity. It’s not negativity but uninspiring goals that are your problem.
The bottom line here is that being negative is not a death sentence nor is being positive an indicator that all is well. It’s best to be somewhere in between, a realist, and to take an honest look at what is causing you distress or, for that matter, what is causing you happiness and joy. An active, examining, honest mind is your best tool to success and not worrying too much one way or the other how much more positive or negative you “need to be” according to somone’s arbitrary standard.
Here’s to your success.
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